Those three little words

I want to tell you “I love you” but what does it really mean when I say I do? In a matter of days, I was flooded with emotions I did not intend on having. I did not mean to have felt this way but you somehow found your way into my heart. What was it that drawn me so close and allowed myself to get hooked onto you? The feeling is surreal and I cant explain why. I ask repeatedly in my head “why you?” why do you have this control over me to feel so weak.. My mind races whenever I think of you and how possible a future together would be. But everyday I have to hold back the feeling and shrug it off. As much as I want to allow it, I cant. I made the mistake in wasting 4 years from my previous relationship to not take my time and learn more about myself. I feel guilty to fall back on this last relationship and use that as a stepping stone on my current one to be more cautious on the choices I make. I could have potentially found my soul mate, the partner God meant for me, but here I am denying the feelings and holding myself back from letting what’s meant to be, be. Honestly, it hurts to not tell you everything that I want to say but, I know that if it’s really true, it can wait.

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